Standing

I wear black
in its simpleness
I find every patteren, color, twisting shades
My mind finds the hidden in the plain
has I walk down that street alone
I walk hearing a bitter sweet symphony
playing my life
sleepless night accompany by wakeless days
upside down
inside out
Paint splattering the canvas that I have been
painting since the dawn of time
nothing is prefect
but this is all that I know
That I seee
I could change, but whats the point
In the blue gray dawn in the hours between 3 and 7
comfort
no sun and no moon
thoughts coil in my mind of the past and dreaming of tomorrow
so when awoke from my sleepless slummber
living today wont be has bad
looking down on the world I know
I make me
simple girl
in simple black
another face in the crowd
the underlying truth yet to be seen
held in her eyes

Have a Little Faith in Me

Wow this has been one of the toughtest weekends I think that I have ever been through. While the weekend was filled with the joyous occusion of my best friends birthday, I was battling myself. Has you can probably tell with that last post. Really that feeling hasnt been in myself in a long time and I really wanted to give up on myself.
But after tonite I think Im gonna be okay.
Sometimes I let things get to me and I forget how much everyone and everything means to me.
Plus what fun would this place be with out me.
So please......you know what.....I dont regret posting that last one because why hide myself?
Sometimes it is the little things that make that differences.

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel

peace.

Tears and Chain

Here I sit again
Once more the darkness sinks its life draining teeth in to me
I cant stop it
because I dont know how
It hurts
I hate this feeling of pain in my heart
there is not reason for me to feel this
the chains are latching onto me faster and faster
tying me to wall muffling my screams
I go out at night and nothing ales my heart break
Friends laugh only allow me to pose a slight grin
I want to laugh to be happy and the only thing I can do
sit there and look mean
I dont know what it is that is getting to me.
I sure the answer is right in front of me...But im not allowing my self to look
for now
i sit and wait
for now
the darkness wins
for now
i rest again into the night

save me

2a.m
I cant sleep and while my mind is flowing at a hundred miles a minute I cant find the words to put down to say how I feel right now.
Life is only going faster for me
minute by minute
faster and faster
In this whirl wind Im looking for something to grip me with reality. Deciding what to do with my life has been at the center of my focus lately. I have been thinking of leaving school and working for my dream of having my own bar....with a stage. Because I have always wanted to sing in crowded room of people. So why not have a place to book talent that could one day give some one chance to filled a dream. And to play my shit and not give a damn cause I own it. lol anyone have ideas ??

..........