My Unspoken VENT!

Hello?
anyone?
can you hear me?
Im screaming in the slience and darken corners of my mind..........Im still here. So many times left in the dark by an object of my own device. Today, Im ready, Im fine. Reminents of my past flood my present. And unlike the motives and uncertainty of the last old friend to enter my life......I trust her. Things add up and I dont question anything in my mind. Here nor there welcome back.

Lost. No Im not. Im simply trying to understand the moments that flow past me and trying to grab the ideas that people think. Each day is unfolding and unfolding. Im excited to see the next page like the end of a novel with a cliff to a sequel....I wonder what it woould be like to be someone esle for a day?

....sigh. So In the last post I spoke of a nameless friend and her fakeness....Well diane.....if your reading this your a heartless bitch for doing what you did. It is people like you that I hope wake up one day and realized that all the years youve spend being selfish were a waste and your alone on this planet with millions of people. Because you have cause pain in the people who real did give a shit about you. People who would give you there world because they thought you were good at heart. In my honest opinion and I Believe I will never be more honest about you then this right here:
I disliked you from the start
I didnt trust you and I could sense your cold heart from the very start
I faked everysmile and warm gesture to you
why? because I stood behind my best friend
Not that youd ever know what the meaning to that is/............
She believed that you were a good person and I loved her so I trust her jugdement
I hoped that I would be so wrong about you....I hopeD
Your DONE in my book
Nothing can redem u
How could be such a cold heartless slut?
and you are a slut...........because at least we have a bit of class and actually date the people we hook up with. Oh wait, I mean they want to date and get to know us
Because we are fun
We are not stuck up and snobby
We do not jugde people for there imprefections
We dont make fun of our friends
Your lucky
Your lucky because You pissed me off many a times and I have kept my cool
Your b-day We went to disneyland together
it was fun
I will admitted but I almost didnt go because of the shit you pulled at Pam b-day dinner
You know not ever thing has to be about you
And really your lucky that im typing out my aggresion right now, because I want a very simple confrontation where I dont lose my cool.
Because Im a lady and dont fight
And Im not about to give you anysatisfacton
Oh and take your "trophe" because it was never that important at all. You can have it.
Who cares

and dont think that I wont say any of this to your face.
Cause I would and I will.......


Really people....if anyone out there is reading this
This is high school dumb ass drama that grown ups like us dont need to play
Yes Im venting out about this drama that I should just let go
and after this It is done
but these are games...........

Lets just end this
I said what was on my mind and Im not sorry for that it is what I think
My Opinion

Fine&*

Questioning the Question?

Hi again,

.......Well I have been thinking......has I usually do. Here sits a girl at a tender age of 21 with everything she could ever want at her fingertips. I mean everything, no bounderies will hold her in. what path is it that she seeks and which looks to seek her. It is here were good and evil now sit beconing her more and more has days pass. Bright lights, money, and a nomadic lifestyle captures her fanasty more then ever. The Idea of being "someone" grabs her attention and throws her into aldrenline rush that capitivates anyone. Yet when her heart subsides she wants the grounded feeling of her past that she let go. Calling for her to submissive to the laws which bind her.

So, I saw the movie 21 last night and with little more then 38 days it only fuels my fire to walk on the wild side. Europe and costa rica are yelling so loudly that the most sound proof walls do not hold back there calls. Cards, friends, alcohol, and this "nomadic" lifestyle I cant shake. Yet since I have changed so much in years past im not sure I want to let go just yet. Then again Come to think of it I havent been one to stick around for a long time. I mean maybe it is because of the the things that I have been through but of course everone has been through shit. Betrail can cause many issues.

Speaking of betrail it seems to be the topic of disscussion lately on the terms of my friends, Now Tanya and I have been friends for about almost 2 years and still have yet to aruge, but in the case of the the backstabbers that we called friends really WTF mate?! Im still in shock that a certain person could hurt my best friend so. Why? I still believe that there was an alterer motive behind what was done on his part. He really upset me, and this girl who shall remain nameless, why are you so fake? you drive me mad and yet My kindered soul can not bear to shatter you. All in all this turmoil is buliding to a point. A point that I believe will have catosthropic repercussions. Lies upon lies upon lies buried the foundation we all started, the beginning that was never suppose to end. That is life and that Is the tangled web that is woven.


I welcome the new day.